Over the last 2 months my studio has been going through a dismantling process ready for when I move to a new location (still have no idea where thats going to be). My house is sold and I’m technically homeless whilst i’m in limbo. Thanks to my parents for letting me stay at their house whilst I’m juggling the mess that surrounds me.
I’m aiming to take a slow journey back into music and I’m taking things steady after what has been a very hard 2 years. I’ve been on a massive journey and there’s still no real sign of change in the immediate future.
Signing on to ESA (Employment Support Allowance) and being in the government system has really highlighted for me how bad things are out there for people. We’re expected to survive on £10 a day, an amount that in these modern times barely covers anything let alone any emergencies or unexpected bills or costs. None of the forms and requirements are fit for purpose and are very out of touch and backwards, it seems they simply do not understand mental health and disorders. Especially neurological disorders where the individual isn’t able to change the wiring in their head but the questions seem to imply you should? Its all geared around physical disabilities and a very small segment about the mind and mental health difficulties people suffer.
I’ve never signed on in my life and this is a temporary measure whilst I try to rebuild my life. Its been the most demoralising experience I’ve ever gone through and I genuinely feel the pain of the poor individuals who have to fight the system and its rigid and unhelpful processes that simply leave you feeling worthless and at times discriminated.
Not fit for purpose
I was unable to work from January this year and it wasn’t until June that I received a payment. They didn’t back date it to January and I was without finance for almost 6 months. There’s nothing I can do about it and just have to accept it.
The telephone systems are a joke and the relentless, distorted monotone music that repeats itself over and over for hours on end. I’ve spent on average around 1-2 hours waiting to get through only to be told I’m not through to the right department despite being told be a previous person that I needed to call that number. It took around 6 attempts to get to the correct department and even then the person on the phone was really not very friendly and sounded annoyed herself.
Furthermore when being forced to go to medical checkup’s in places that feel extremely intimidating, with bright lights and members of staff who are so used to the processes they talk to you like your some sort of imbecile for not understanding what you’re supposed to do. With Autism and people on the spectrum life is hard enough as it is, let alone having to endure the rigid and unfriendly infrastructure that seems to be the norm these days.
Upon receiving the decision and requesting to view the paperwork that summarised what the independent Doctor thought about me and my problems was an eye opener. Mainly because I look completely ‘normal’ I guess the very biased and stereotypical explanations of how I ‘looked ok’ and ‘seemed perfectly able’ is precisely whats wrong with the verification process.
Despite all the nonsense and treacle I’m walking through, I’m still trying to keep my music platform running and I’ve got a lot of cool things planned. So in the meantime if you’ve not already please register for my streaming platform. There’s plenty of music in there and you can get access to my whole catalogue for FREE. You can create your own playlists and download any of my music you wish whilst I’m still testing out the system.
Wishing everyone the best in their endeavours and sincerely hope that anyone else who’s stuck in the government’s so called ‘benefit’ system can find a way out and not be treated so badly. One love!